It was a delight to see our Sri Lankan friends again, and one must commend their willingness to turn up in subzero conditions, knowing they would get a hiding. When Pinky makes up your team to ten players, you have a problem.
Captain Courageous was in fine form, the team organised at a level not seen, since Churchill masterminded his attacks on the Hun.
Due to the new ruthless selection policy, Carter found himself having to spend at least one hour in the company of Collier without a beer to dull the pain. This was impressive stuff! All hopes the opposition clung onto that we were as crap as last year, were extinguished by an impressive assault by the opening pair on our visitors.
15 overs later it was all over. The Sri Lankans were all but frozen to death and there was no way back. Their only hope, food poisoning, or some other disease picked up during the change over at tea. Dysentery perhaps the most likely option after a visit to the latrines. Just think about it. Toilets used without water for weeks, maybe months on end, sewage, rotting in the room, adjacent to where we change into our thermals. Nasty.
Back in the field a swift disposal of the old foe was essential, if we were not to find ourselves suddenly understanding what is was like for Spiro stuck on the Matterhorn for 8 hours in a piste basher.
Slip is an interesting position to field. It says one of two things. One, you are so crap and immobile this is the only position Courageous can put you at …….or two, you are a absolutely stunning fielder with lightening reflexes able to snaffle any edge at high speed. I fall into the 1st category, and today I took my spot at 2nd slip where to my left I found a large bulky Kiwi complete with biceps the size of my gut prior to the diet competition. If you study professional cricket you will note that the passing of the ball, once collected by the keeper, to slip, is in essence a practice for the slips to keep alert. This is not the sort of thing that should be attempted at our level, so it was with some surprise that my fellow slip tossed one to me in a flamboyant, athletic type, catch that one mate, nature. Moments later I was picking the ball off the frosty ground and lobbing it onto gully for onward return to the bowler. Mr “T” realised my inability and clearly made a mental note that any slip catches, were in fact his responsibility.
The last rites of the game dragged on. Please could we go to the pub now?
Thank God, Captain Courageous risked his dodgy hip to help finish them off.
It’s amazing how fast you can get to the pub when you can skip the shower and just ….well go! No worries about locking up or having a quiet word with one of the team who did not get a game.
“Yeah – I know its £10 but it was worth it. Next week I will make sure you get a bat in the snow” - I heard the Captain say to a DNB as I scarpered away.
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