Fixture: Crossbats CC 2nd XI v. Pacific CC

And so it came, at last, the end of a 6 month season in which Crossbats have hit the occasional highs and the less occasional lows. Today’s opponents were the impressive looking Pacific, complete with the popular Billy Bunter, flown in from Australia for the occasion, and in many ways the match proved to be a microcosm of the season for the galant Crossbats.

Captain Dunbar successfully lost the toss again and Pacific chose to have a bat first on the wearing Moormead astroturf/bare concrete. On an implausibly hot and sunny October day, the Crossbats emerged from the dressing room with the familiar aroma of deep heat, sunscreen and diptheria resonating from the clubhouse.

Dunbar and van Vuuren opened the bowling at a lively pace, VV getting early reward for a good line with the wicket of Holman for 0. Pacific were not to be intimidated though and set about carving shots to all corners of the ground, this despite the presence of a 12th fielder at gully (in the shape of goalposts). While Spiro was mysteriously reported to be in Birmingham today, it was clear that he was still here in spirit, sat on a bench on the square leg boundary in the form of an octogenarian. It’s fair to say that the goalpost’s main contribution to the day was to help take some of the strain off of Wright’s ageing spine. Contrastingly, Spiro’s Spirit showed far more enthusiasm for the fight. His first contribution was to let the ball roll between his legs before falling backwards on his arse, narrowly avoiding a fractured hip. Not content with this humiliation, the old fella stayed true to the Law of Spiro by coming back for more. Again the ball came to him, again he lept from his bench and this time fielded the ball tidily. Alas, as he threw the ball back in, the poor old boy again lost his footing and again went arse over tit. Surprisingly, he again arose without the need of an ambulance, but the lesson had been learnt and soon after he softly disappeared, never to return.

Showing admirable concentration in the midst of the circus act on the boundary, the Pacific batsman continued to score at a healthy rate with the dangerous looking Tempany not afraid to take the aerial route. It was at this point that Dunbar made his last inspired decision of the season and brought on leg-spinner Winch from the Pavilion End. The tall Tempany’s eyes clearly lit up at the prospect and swung wildly at the first delivery. The ball went up and up, and up a bit more, as Smith circled underneath it. This was just the sort of catch that Crossbats drop at will, but today something changed and Smith clung on to take a superb catch.

Next in was Webley, and before he had a run on the board Winch bamboozled him with a flipper/googly which by all reports hit him on the ankle in line with middle stump. A concerted appeal from all Crossbats failed to shake the umpire’s resolve however, and the verdict was not out. From square leg, it looked out and your correspondent would certainly have raised the Finger. Given a reprieve, Webley set about the bowling with aggressive intent, making good use of the short boundaries to hit several maximums.

At the other end Bastin was labouring, eventually guiding Dunbar to the waiting Lawrence who took a smart catch at gully, using his full frame to good effect.
While Webley continued to score well, Atkin at the other end did not last long, well caught by Tilson at short midwicket off the bowling of Lawrence

This brought Billy Bunter to the crease, much the delight of old hands Lawrence and Carter. After a few scratchy shots, Bunter eventually found his ark, hoiking two sixes over the square leg boundary. However, it was the spin of Winch that proved the undoing of the chunky lefthander. Beaten in the flight, Bunter cracked a full-blooded drive straight to Nicholls at short mid-wicket, and surprisingly another catch was taken.

At 160/5, it’s fair to say that this was Crossbats’ opportunity to finish off an impressive looking side and have a target of less than 200 to chase. Unfortunately, in a season of what-might-have-beens, this proved to be beyond them and Webley along with Smith proceeded to add 90ish for the sixth wicket. A highlight of this period of play was when Wright was brought into the attack, only to be deposited first ball by Webley into the side door of a BMW parked on the boundary. Clearly sensing the danger of further carnage, at least 3 astute Pacific players took swift action and assumed fielding positions in the middle of the road for the rest of the over.

With Wright withdrawn promptly, Ross was given his first opportunity to show the Captain what he could do with the ball. 2 overs of steady medium pace followed, but still no breakthrough. Dunbar, in the true spirit of bowling captains, saw that the only man that could get a wicket now was of course himself. He thus came back for a brief, tortuous spell in which the flailing Collier could do nothing to stop 12 byes/wides from disappearing down the leg side in 3 successive deliveries. By this stage, Pacific were rampant, Webley had scored an impressive (though slightly controversial) century and although van Vuuren got late reward by bowling Smith, it was all too little to late and Pacific posted a daunting target of 262 for Crossbats to finish the season on a high.

The nearest they came to this goal was the fine tea enjoyed by all. Opening the innings were Nicholls and Tilson. In a last act of desperation, Nicholls had ditched his bat and borrowed the bat of Dunbar, and despite the ball hitting the middle of the bat on several occasions, he was soon on his way back to the pavilion after missing a straight one. Next over, Tilson decided to do the same and Crossbats were in trouble at 7 for 2.

This brought together Collier and Wright, 2 of the lynchpins of Crossbats’ batting line-up this season, and they set about rebuilding the innings with great application. Wright’s stand and deliver style looked to be in good working order, while Collier was quick to punish anything short on either side of the wicket. With optimism growing on the boundary that these two could get Crossbats back into the game, Winch was seen to be getting visibly more nervous with every run scored by Collier. Next man in, he was all too aware of the close race to win the season’s batting trophy between himself and the little Sphincter. Meanwhile, Wright had got into a bit of a rut against the useful bowling of Roberts and was subsequently bowled for a gutsy 23, having put on 101 with Collier. In strode Winch, knowing that he needed runs not only for himself, but for his team.
At the other end, Collier was making hay while the sun still shone (probably aware that it would not be shining for much after 5pm). However, having hit 6 fours in a row, he finally missed one and was out for an attractive 66. Winch was joined by Ross, but the glorious end to the season was not to be. Winch was soon bowled, a rare dismissal indeed for this usually sound technician.

This opened up the stage for Crossbats’ dangerous late order hitters, Dunbar and van Vuuren. On their day they can bring fear and destruction to bowlers and BMW’s alike. In the event, the private battle between the pair to avoid the Duck Cup proved of more relevance. Dunbar lustily scored 4, before being bowled, before van Vuuren lustily scored 0 and hence secured himself the well deserved trophy.

Ross soon followed the trend by also being bowled, which left Carter to show that there’s still life in the old dog yet by cracking a quick 36. At the other end, in a final act of hilarity, Smith pulled a groin and summoned to the boundary for a runner. The boundary’s response was lukewarm, leaving the stricken Smith to hobble on regardless. Having realised that it wasn’t in fact Old Man Carter that was injured, Skipper Dunbar hastily reversed his decision and sent in no. 11 Lawrence to run for Smith. Several confusing singles later, Carter was dismissed, only to replace Lawrence as runner. Several more confusing singles later, sprinkled with a couple of nice boundaries by both batsman, Smith was finally dismissed and Crossbats had literally limped to 193 all out.

A fitting end to a topsy-turvy season, the true Crossbat spirit was displayed by all at the Turks Head post match. Beer flowed, Winch won the batsman’s trophy by a run, Lawrence walked away with the bowler’s trophy and the winner of the chili growing competition, organised by Lips, was won by Lips.

Scorecard